Pathetic But Not
by Specificitydarling
Summary: But it wasn't Allan and she was making a point.Violet Cooper post 1x05, excluding all episodes following. Sorry it took so long to post.


She was considering turning herself into the police. Because, really, she needed to be punished. For ignorance, negligence and complete, utter stupidity. She was pretty sure it wasn't human to be this stupid.

She was at home how. But it wasn't home, not really. Because home is where the heart is and her heart was shred into pieces. Some still clung to Allan, like they were attached by some magnetic force. Some had been picked up by Cooper and taped together. That was what he did. Only he couldn't hold anymore which left the last few pieces lying on the floor. I was pathetic to be this broken.

She laughed; it was funny how everyone was an expert except when it came to themselves. She helped people with their problems day in-day out, while leaving hers at the front door. Cooper couldn't hold a relationship but knew exactly what to say about hers. And he was right, he was always right when it came to her.

She knew what she needed. She knew exactly what she needed and none of it could be found at 'home'. She needed Ashley Judd and Roscoe's and someone to run over $6000 bikes with her and insult her and tell her she was hard to forget. She needed low people skills. She needed someone who tried to kiss her when he was drunk. She needed Cooper, and it was pathetic that it took her so long to realise.

She grabbed her keys and slammed the front door, not caring that she looked terrible. She was counting on it not to matter. She was being pathetic again. She'd have shaved her legs for Allan. She knew that. He knew that. But it wasn't Allan and she was making a point.

She knocked on his door and heard a shuffle, then a pause. When he opened the door, she realised it wasn't Cooper. Cooper always had that look in his eyes when he saw her, even if he wasn't smiling. That look that said "You're Violet Turner and I like you anyway." That look that gave her hope. The one she expected would always be there.

"Why didn't you come check on me?" She knew how it sounded, but she needed to know.

He sighed and let her in. She stepped by him and brushed against his arm. She wasn't sure if she did it accidently or not but it didn't matter because it made her glow inside. He felt like Cooper.

She followed him to his living room, looking around like she had never been there before.

"Have a seat." It was the first thing he had said to her since the night before and it sounded awkward but at the same time she relished it. He sounded like Cooper. She waited for him to sit down, then did the same right next to him. She was counting on him not to move. He didn't.

"I talked to Sam." She took a sudden interest to her hands.

"I know."

"He was nice about it." She said, wondering where she was going. In the wrong direction. She laughed at herself; she really couldn't get anything right.

"God, I'm pathetic!"

"You're not" he replied a little too quickly and his hand found its way to her leg. He took it off straight away, as if he'd remembered he'd had enough of her. She thought of time she'd fall asleep in his arms after a bad Allan Episode and how she'd wake up that was the next morning and it was never awkward.

"Yes, I am. I'm a mess and I'm sorry. I'm just, I'm really sorry."

He looked at her for a while; she could feel his eyes burning into the side of her head.

"Vi, that's not it."

She looked up at him. She relied on him to fix her every time she pulled herself apart. She was a pathetic excuse for an adult. How could that not be it?

"I don't understand."

"No, you don't. The point it... the point is that when I think of you it's like I'm back in high school, fantasising about Cindy or some hot chick from English. And that's a problem, Violet, because I can't stop thinking of you. Ever. I wasn't joking when I said you were hard to forget."

He was saying this and looking her straight in the eye and she was pretty sure she was forgetting how to breathe.

"Cooper."

"I need to say this, Violet! I just, I really need to say this and you owe me. It's impossible for me to forget you because you have crazy hair and sometimes you're annoying and you use weird psycho-babble no one else understands. You make me laugh even when you're not funny and you can come here looking like shit and I still think you're the most beautiful person I've ever seen. It's self-preservation. Every time you break, I do. And if I keep fixing you, I can't fix myself."

She had the feeling that he wanted to say more, but she knew him well enough to know he wasn't going to say it yet.

"That's why I need to do the fixing now. I need to fix both of us and I'm starting by walking away." She stroked his cheek with her hand.

He looked at her incredulously for a second, "But you're still here."

"From Allan. I'm walking away from Allan."

He tried to hide a smile but it leaked through his eyes. That was the Cooper she knew. She held out her hand.

"Really?" he asked.

"Really." And he took her hand in his.

"You know, I think that was the nicest thing you've ever said to me." She grinned.

"I don't think so", he smiled sheepishly.

"Well you did say I was annoying but-"

"Violet."

"Hmm?"

"I love you." She would've fallen off her chair except it was a couch and he was holding her hand. And then he was sliding one hand around her waist and another was cupping his cheek. And she was pretty sure she liked being in Heaven.

Oxygen decided to interrupt and he smiled at her and she smiled back.

"Is it true you tell your balls that too?"

He went bright red and she tried not to laugh.

"I'm going to kill Pete! I wasn't –"

"Cooper."

"I'm not some weird -"

"Cooper. I love you."

That shut him up. Or maybe it was her lips joining his because it felt too perfect to miss out on.


End file.
